Ladies, Let's Talk about Guilt

I was with a client recently and she is a international business coach working with huge corporations and especially female CEO's. The topic of guilt came up and guilt specifically pertaining to women!

How woman feel guilt when they do something just for themselves. Especially if it involves spending money on only themselves. 

Why is this that we feel this way? Why can't we do something for our selves and feel good about it?

Why can't we see that making ourselves happy WILL benefit everyone in our lives?

I had this realization also this week while my boyfriend was away for work over the weekend. We do not have children nor are we married, so a weekend to myself should result in the ultimate girls weekend right?

I began to dream of a day at the spa and a mani-pedi, brunch with old friends. Then, I started rationalizing against all these fabulous ideas and had thoughts of "no you shouldn't spend all that money on just yourself" or I thought "we could spend this money on a weekend together".

I caught myself discrediting my worth and rationalizing why it's not worth the money....to spend it on JUST ME!

What?!! Where does this all come from? Why do I have GUILT about spending MY OWN money on myself and my happiness. 

As woman we often put "the greater good" of our loved ones above ourselves. Then, we feel guilt when we do something wonderful for ourselves.

Everyday Glamour and finding balance starts with ourselves and making the time to find that little part of self-love everyday.

BALANCE IS BULLSH*T | TAKE BACK BALANCE

“We need more balance in our lives” is something we have heard for years and throughout the the media. This term typically refers to women, working moms, career women trying to do and have it all, right?

Well, we have been fed a lie. That we CAN have balance and NEED it in our lives.

(Bare with me this is a long post because you've gotta hear this!)

By definition “Balance” means “a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions”, which is not intended to be applied to “balance” in one’s life.

To do two things simultaneously and equally efficient, is actually IMPOSSIBLE!

You may think, well it is physically possible to do two things, Michelle. I can walk and talk or sing and drive at the same time.

But have you ever noticed how when you need to fully concentrate, say in the car when you are lost and looking for directions; you may lower the radio?

Or when you are walking and talking but then need to focus on the important key point you are trying to make to your boss; you will stop walking?

The term “balance” when pertaining to women’s lives was first introduced in the public mainstream in the 1980’s when women began to take over the American corporate work force.

By nature, humans, are not able to equally distribute our “elements in correct proportions”. The word balance is a noun, it is a “thing”. It should not be used to describe a human behavior.

It’s better to say that we as women need to practice the act of “BALANCING” which is a verb and an action we can do in our lives.

I want you to no longer say “I need more balance in my life”, what we need to shift our mindset to say “I am actively balancing my priorities by valuing myself as a priority”.
 

Have you ever noticed that on Airplanes during the introductory safety drill, the flight attendant says “in case of an emergency, place the oxygen mask over yourself before assisting children or others”.

We can not help the ones we love in our lives if we do not take care of ourselves first.

Since practicing more self love and self care for myself, my business has grown beyond my dreams, my relationship with my boyfriend is stronger than ever, and I have more energy and motivation for everyone. I’ve created healthy habits that will carry on throughout my life so I can one day care for my family and my clients with all of my self. A happier, healthier, more confident version all from showing myself a little love too.

The Dali Lama once said “ The world will be saved by the Western Woman”.

 

If we take care of ourselves, we have more of ourselves to give. We can volunteer, create companies that change the world, raise children that are mindful and respectful of our world and humanity.

5 Tips | Learn to Quiet Your Inner Critic

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How many times have you heard an inner voice? An inner voice that is usually a big fat meanie? She criticizes your hair, your body, or intelligence? She makes you doubt yourself and your decisions.

We all have her living inside us. She is not your friend and should kindly be told to “shut up”. 

I have struggled for years with this voice that is so mean, she is evil and in no longer welcome to speak to me. I have learned to quiet her voice so that my stronger, kinder side can speak LOUDER. 

This has helped me love myself more, launch a thriving business, and rock my life. 

I have learned to do this with 5 easy tips to Quiet your Inner Critic. 

1- Name your inner voice because she is not you!

 This will allow you to see her as someone outside of yourself and this way you can kindly tell her to “shut up.” So that you can go on to love yourself and do amazing things with your life. 

2- Acknowledge your fear but do not let it stop you.
 

Taking on a new job, starting something new, or doing something right, can all be scary but fear is temporary and if we acknowledge that it is there then we can conquer it. 

3- Remind yourself how amazing you are!
 

When that little voice creeps in, say out loud, what makes you amazing and awesome! Point out how gorgeous you are and why your rock! 

4- Get productive.
 

How can you be negative if you are actively working towards your goal? At the end of the day you will feel amazing and happy. 

5- Ask yourself, “would I say this to my best friend, mother, or sister?”
 

We are so hard on ourselves and so often we are so mean that we would never speak these words to women we love. So why on Earth would we say these negative and hurtful things to ourselves? So next time you hear that “inner critic” say something mean, stop her because you do not speak to ones you love like that!

SPEAK TO YOURSELF LIKE YOU SPEAK TO SOMEONE YOU LOVE. 

Take Back Balance | A Self Love Challenge

Do you struggle with finding balance in your life? Do you ever make yourself a priority?

Do you feel guilty about spending time or money on your self?

As women we rarely make time for ourselves outside of our career and personal lives.

After struggling for years to find a way to love myself for who I am and now, after mastering the art of photographing women, I have come to realize we all struggle with this.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

I want to help you begin your own journey towards more self love and higher self esteem though daily practices of mindfulness, gratitude, and self care.

I have created a fun, easy to follow FREE 15 DAY Beauty & Empowerment Challenge for women only! 

I hope you will join me and join the movement! 

The challenge begins March 28th!

Why Do I Share Transformations?

What is the deal with showing a Before and After image of my clients?

I don’t know about you but I am a fanatic about TV “Makeover” shows. What Not To Wear. LOVE LUST or Run, The Biggest Loser, are some of my guilty pleasures to watch. 

It’s not just the end result that I am fascinated by, it’s that, that person has always been inside of the participants! 

That stay-at-home mom who has baby spit on her sweatpants; she IS a gorgeous goddess and a rockstar!

We all have busy schedules. Things to do, work, and the kids all become what is most important and sometimes we ourselves take a back seat. Our health, our wardrobe, our hair & makeup, are ranked at the bottom of our priorities list.

So once in awhile, it’s great to take that back! To take back balance. To take back you! 

So, why do I show you transformations? To show you that we are all human and imperfectly perfect.

 We all get busy but we ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL!

We are in a tribe of mothers, sisters, daughters, and wives. We do so much for everyone in our lives but we must not forget to give ourselves a little love too. 

I would never ask my clients to do something that I would not do myself. 

So here you have it! My straight-out-of-bed to full on Glam transformation! 

I just think they are so cool to do too! Please feel free to share this with your friends and girlfriends. 

Why Do I Photograph Women?

This year I had the incredible pleasure of turning 30 years old! Yes, I said it. I am happy and feel blessed to age one more beautiful year!

I didn't hide away or cry that, "OMG I'm now 30! My 20's are over" (like many of my friends).

Rather, I rejoice in being given the gift of aging. So many other young girls were not as fortunate to reach the age of 30 in their lives and I could have been one of them. 

Not many people know that at the age of 24 and just a month before graduating college, I was in a terrible car crash. My car was completely totaled and I broke over 6 bones, including my clavicle and a portion of my ribs. So, turning 30 was a real reason to celebrate. 

As women, we have been conditioned to believe beauty is only for the young but, I disagree.

We complain about our wrinkles, our weight, our hair, our bodies; the list can go on. I hear it everyday from my clients.

I want you to turn off the "itty bitty sh**ty committee" inside of you. We need to change the way we think about ourselves and what we choose to believe. We should practice mindful self-love and not debilitating self-hate.

We should speak to ourselves the way we speak to our loved ones. Would you ever tell your mother, sister, or best friend the things you say to yourself when you look in the mirror?

We need to choose to see our beauty and celebrate it. No matter what age you are.

This is why I photograph woman. I want you to see what your husband and children see. I want you to love yourself so you can love your life and spread joy to everyone and to your children which will create a better future for our world. 

To grow older is not guaranteed it's a blessing and you should rejoice in every new stage of your life. You've earned those wrinkles from loving, laughing, and living! Try to remember that and be grateful for all your uniqueness. 

Savor the Success | Tips for Self Confidence

It’s no surprise that I specialize in photographing women but why? This is not just about the art of photography, it’s about my mission to empower the women in my community.

We are often so hard on ourselves and strive to have it all and do it perfectly.

I want to show you that you are beautiful exactly the way you are and where you are in your life right now.

The Dali Lama once said that “the world will be saved by the Western woman.”

What would happen if every woman you know were to be a little more confident, stood a little taller, or loved themselves a little more? I think we could maybe save the world too!

I can only photograph so many women a month but I want to share some tips for feeling more confident everyday starting today.

#1 Stop Comparing yourself to others.

I know this is easier said than done. We are all unique and our lives are unique. The moment you believe that you are exactly where you need to be and begin to love yourself for who you are the better you will feel and the more confident you will be.

#2 Start your day with positive affirmations.

Make a list of 5 self love, gratitude, encouraging affirmations to say about yourself. It is hard to stay negative or sad when you feel genuine gratitude for your life. 

#3 Take a break to actually enjoy your coffee!

Before you rush off to work or get in your car, make the time to have 10 minutes just for you. I love enjoying my coffee on the patio with a magazine. It's so simple but just feels glamorous. This can be to sit and read a magazine with breakfast, take a quick walk, or dance before work! 

#3 Plan a date with your best girlfriends.

Nothing is more empowering, energizing, and uplifting than our goddess inner circles. Savor the moment and plan a date with the girls who inspire you and love you unconditionally. 

#4 Do something you love!

We get lost in the everyday grind and often lose ourselves. When was the last time you went bike riding, horseback riding, or to the beach with friends? Treat yourself once a week, no act of kindness is too small. 

#5 Get a makeover.

I don’t know about you but nothing makes me feel better than a new haircut, dress, or having my makeup professionally done. It doesn’t need to be a dramatic makeover but something new and fresh. Hire a makeup artist for your next big party or rent a designer dress to feel like a movie star for the night. This little act of kindness to yourself will sit with you all month.